Ryan just called me from school.  Apparently he left his grade check sheet at home this morning and needs it in order to try out for the track team this afternoon.  Hmmm.  Not wanting him to miss out on being on the team but wanting him to be responsible for forgetting, I asked if today was the only day for tryouts.  No, he could try out tomorrow.  That made my life so much easier.  He’ll be taking the bus home after school today and trying out tomorrow.

Do I have time to drive the sheet to him?  Yes.  I don’t teach today and am home working on a variety of things, none that need to get done NOW.  But part of my job as a parent is to teach Ryan to be responsible so that when I’m not around he has the skills to do it on his own.  This means that, not only will he miss out on tryouts today, but when he gets home from school we’ll strategize ways to help him remember to get things like his grade check into his backpack.  (He remembered to have me sign it…)

It’s the same with teaching kids financial responsibility.  We need to allow our kids to learn from smaller mistakes now so that they can avoid bigger ones later.  Let them buy the toy that you know will soon break or they’ll quickly lose interest in.  And when they lose their sweater or cell phone, let them pay for a new one.  When they’re using their own money, the consequences hit home quicker.  

But also give them strategies so that they can be better prepared in the future.  If a toy is really cheap, it may not be made well so be careful when making your choices.  When you take your sweater off at school always put it in your backpack.  

But, as with most things, we also need to be flexible.  If today was the only day of tryouts I would have driven his grade check to school.  Ryan is passionate about running and to deny him the opportunity to be on the team where he will learn a lot of other life lessons seems like a harsh price to pay.  I would have charged him for my time and mileage instead.

I know he is disappointed in missing out on today’s practice.  But when I told him that I wasn’t going to drive to school with his grade check he simply said ‘okay’ and that was that.  He’s had a lot of little life lessons in his young life.  There are days he’s gone “hungry” at lunch during school.  Or missed hanging out with friends because his chores weren’t done.  But he’s learning and accumulating a variety of strategies to help him make it through life just a little easier.  And that’s all a mom can hope for.

56 minutes later.  No kidding.  Nathan just called me from school.  Turns out his English assignment isn’t going to take as long as he thought so maybe he can go to golf practice after all and would I drive his clubs over to school for him.  Hmmm, again.

 We left it this morning that he would be coming home right after school because he was swamped with projects.   He “reminded” me that his coach said that school work comes first.  That’s my rule, too, but I expect my kids to plan out their life so that they don’t have to miss practice.

Anyhoo, we decided that he really needed the day off from practice to get his stuff done and done well.  So he left his clubs at home.

Now he wants his clubs because all of a sudden, life got easier.   Easier for him, maybe.  And besides, if he hadn’t played all day Saturday and watched movies with friends until midnight, he probably wouldn’t have slept so late and decreased his homework hours on Sunday.    Then this wouldn’t be an issue.

So I’ll have the pleasure of hanging out with both my boys this afternoon.