I just spent twenty minutes looking for Ryan’s graphing calculator.  That’s on top of the 30 minutes Ryan spent looking last night.  It is nowhere to be found.  And that’s a bummer, because those things are expensive.

I have always told the boys that I will buy the first of whatever it is they need for school.  Sketch book for art.  Saxophone for music.  Graphing calculator for math.  If they lose it, it’s their responsibility.  Harsh?  Not at all.  I’ve been doing this since elementary school (the boys are now in high school) and neither one has lost anything. 

That doesn’t mean they haven’t come close.  Ryan left his sax on the field one day after soccer practice, and luckily a parent picked it up and called.  Nathan’s close calls usually have to do with his cell phone.  And if any of your kids have had a retainer, well…you know what that’s like.

Both boys are uber careful about keeping track of their stuff.  That’s because they know what the established and agreed upon rules are, and that I’ll follow through.  As I’ve said, I haven’t had the opportunity to follow through…yet.   Unless Ryan finds his calculator at school today, this may be the day.

And here’s my quandary.  Last night when Ryan was desperately looking for the calculator he was…looking desperate.  It was obvious he was pretty upset.  That calculator could cost him $100.  I told him not to worry, these things usually turn up (which explains my 20 minute search this morning.)  I did not find it.

But the irony of the whole thing is that less than two weeks ago, Ryan pretended that he lost the calculator.  He showed me the “lid” to the calculator and tried to pull of being upset that he couldn’t find the rest of it.  Ha, ha, ha, said I.

I’m not ha-ha’ing now.  And neither is he.   But the story gets better.   Kids at school steal stuff.  So during one of his track practices when they leave their backpacks in a heap on the field, he took out the calculator and put it in his locker for safe keeping.  I  know, I know.  I am blessed with responsible kids…but with Ryan, it took a long time to get there.  It’s about coming up with workable strategies – but that’s another blog entry.

Ryan has proven he is responsible.  One day when we went out for dinner, we hid his retainer.  He got visibly upset that he thought he lost it.  I will never do that again.  But my point is, he cares and he tries. 

So back to the quandry.  If he comes home from school today without the calculator, do I make him pay for the  new one?  That’s always been the deal.  It was meant to teach responsibility.  He’s proven responsibility.  But things happen.  Calculators get lost.  Or stolen.  Is it his fault?

No, it’s not.  But neither is it my fault.  That said, I’m a pretty reasonable mom.  I’ll probably cut a deal with him and we go in halvesies (sp??).  I actually think he’ll be relieved because, as of right now, he believes he’s in it for the entire hundred.  And I just don’t think that’s fair.  What do you think?