{"id":1135,"date":"2011-09-24T15:19:29","date_gmt":"2011-09-24T15:19:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/kidnexions.com\/blog\/?p=1135"},"modified":"2011-09-24T15:19:29","modified_gmt":"2011-09-24T15:19:29","slug":"saying-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.familymathnight.com\/blog\/?p=1135","title":{"rendered":"Saying ‘No’"},"content":{"rendered":"

Saying no to our kids\u00a0can be\u00a0hard for a myriad reasons…we don’t want our kids to feel bad, we want to avoid power struggles, we don’t want to feel “rejection” from our kids, we want to avoid conflict.\u00a0 But, as my friend Kathleen Burns Kingsbury<\/a> <\/a>says,\u00a0saying no is a gift.\u00a0 It prepares our kids for the disappointments that life will inevitably throw their way, much as we’d like to protect them.<\/p>\n

When we\u00a0say no to our kids, we are setting boundaries.\u00a0 Some are safetly boundaries.\u00a0 No, don’t touch that. <\/em> Others are limitation boundaries.\u00a0 No, you can’t stay up til midnight on a school night.<\/em> The key is to accompagny your no with your why.\u00a0 Your why offers an explanation that kids need to make sense of their world.<\/p>\n

That pot has boiling water in it.\u00a0 If you touch\u00a0it, you’ll\u00a0hurt yourself<\/em>.\u00a0 Safety.\u00a0 If you stay up late you’ll be tired tomorrow and it will be harder to concentrate.<\/em> Limitation.<\/p>\n

Now, kids being kids, they may not agree with you.\u00a0\u00a0But\u00a0they’re going to have to trust you on the safety issues.\u00a0 As for the limitations,\u00a0offering an alternative\u00a0can be\u00a0a useful strategy.\u00a0 No, you can’t stay up til midnight tonight, but I’ll let you do that on Friday night.<\/em> Besides this may be a good opportunity for you to\u00a0prove that on Saturday, your little\u00a0cherub has morphed into a cranky, little Frankenstein.\u00a0 It’s nice to have those little examples to pull out the next time around.\u00a0 \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

The\u00a0good news?\u00a0 The more prepared you are to say no,\u00a0and mean it, the less you’ll find yourself saying it.<\/p>\n

The Money Connection:\u00a0\u00a0There’s probably not a parent on the planet who hasn’t struggled with saying no to a\u00a0pleading child in the\u00a0checkout line.\u00a0 Yes is so much easier.\u00a0\u00a0But the same principles apply\u00a0when money is involved.\u00a0 We need to\u00a0help our kids develop reasonable expectations and learn to deal with life’s little disappointments.\u00a0 It’s okay to say no,\u00a0I’m not going to buy that candy because it’s not in\u00a0this weeks budget.<\/em> Yes may be easier in the short run, but no will give them skills for life.<\/p>\n

To help minimize potential power struggles, here are two tips\u00a0that can make your life just a little easier:<\/p>\n

Give your kids an allowance.\u00a0\u00a0An allowance\u00a0practically extinguishes all\u00a0traces of the I wannas<\/em> in addition to providing them with\u00a0important money skills.\u00a0 But it needs to be done correctly.\u00a0 Click here for allowance tips.<\/a><\/p>\n

Choice of\u00a0an item.\u00a0 For younger kids who tend to be with you when you’re grocery shopping, allow them to choose one item to place in the cart.\u00a0 This has the added benefit of keeping them busy!\u00a0 Of course, set up the parameters of the choice, such as no gum or no items over $3.00.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Saying no to our kids\u00a0can be\u00a0hard for a myriad reasons…we don’t want our kids to feel bad, we want to avoid power struggles, we don’t want to feel “rejection” from our kids, we want to avoid conflict.\u00a0 But, as my friend Kathleen Burns Kingsbury says,\u00a0saying no is a gift.\u00a0 It prepares our kids for the disappointments that life will inevitably throw their way, much as we’d like to protect them. When we\u00a0say no to our kids, we are setting boundaries.\u00a0…<\/p>\n

Read More Read More<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,50,16,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-allowance","category-kids-and-money-2","category-teachable-moments","category-teaching-kids-financial-literacy"],"yoast_head":"\nSaying 'No' - Karyn's Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.familymathnight.com\/blog\/?p=1135\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Saying 'No' - Karyn's Blog\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Saying no to our kids\u00a0can be\u00a0hard for a myriad reasons…we don’t want our kids to feel bad, we want to avoid power struggles, we don’t want to feel “rejection” from our kids, we want to avoid conflict.\u00a0 But, as my friend Kathleen Burns Kingsbury says,\u00a0saying no is a gift.\u00a0 It prepares our kids for the disappointments that life will inevitably throw their way, much as we’d like to protect them. 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