Are Bribes Okay?

Are Bribes Okay?

I took Ryan with me to hot yoga yesterday.  Nathan had gone a while back with my friend Rebecca and came back with stories about how he’d never sweat so much in all his life.  Then I started going and found out that he was right.  The heat, plus the difficulty of the poses made for a very intense 90 minutes.

Ryan likes a good challenge and asked if he could give it a go.  So yesterday we went.  In the lobby of the yoga studio was a girl who looked to be about 16 years old.  She was talking to the owner about the heat, not sure if she would be able to make it through, and wanted to know if she could get up and leave during the class.  I’ve learned that that is a no-no.  I’ve also learned the heat isn’t as much of an issue as I, too, thought it was going to be when I first started.  But the girl did not seemed convinced.

When we got into the yoga room, I was surprised to see that the 16-year old girl decided to stay.  She ended up right behind Ryan…and right next to the exit door.  I decided to go over and talk with her and allay some of her concerns about the heat.  I told her that because the poses are so difficult and require a lot of concentration, the heat actually becomes secondary.  And then I asked her what made her decide to come.

“My mom gave me twenty bucks to come,”  she said. 

Really?  So where was mom?  Apparently she had something better to do.

I had to smile to myself, though, about the twenty dollars.  To a teenager, that is a lot of money.  And the fact that she was so concerned about the heat, but stayed anyway, underscored the value of that money.  It made me think about whether bribes were okay.

I am not a believer in paying kids to do things they should do as a member of a family or community.  For example, paying kids to clean up after themselves is not okay.  Neither is paying them for their grades.  But every now and then, like in the yoga example, I do think it’s okay to offer a monetary reward.  The key is to never make it an on-going habit.  Because that’s when kids begin to expect a handout for everything they do.  And raising entitled kids is not teaching them good money habits…or life habits.

The 16-year old made it through the class just fine.  As Ryan and I were leaving, she was asking about memberships.  Ryan…he did awesome, as well.  But in the car ride home, he never asked me about going back.  He had proven he could do it…and was moving on to his next challenge -training for his first half-marathon.  I’ll stick to yoga.

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